Readers: Who's reading from Eastern Europe?

Readers: Who  (or what) are you?

Lately I've been getting a lot of hits to this blog from eastern Europe: Ukraine, Romania, a few from Poland and Russia.

Are you real readers?   There's not quite enough of you, every day, to suggest that an unfeeling bot is merely registering my site as it orbits the blogosphere.  I think you're real. I hope you are.

If you are real, what brings you here?  Do you sew?  I had a pen-pal once, for a short time, who lived in Russia and liked to sew.  I sent her several packages of patterns and at least once, fabric.  I'm sure she didn't receive them all; I'm not sure if any made it to her. I was warned not to trust the mails, but I didn't have much choice.

Sometimes people land here from searching on a particular sewing pattern number.  It's fun to see how McCalls 6844 turns out fitting on a real body, and proud pictures of sewing projects, modeled on surprisingly unstandard sizes, are always being posted online.

Are you hackers?  Eastern Europe is notorious for hackers. A Bulgarian friend who lives here in NJ (I have a few hits from Bulgaria) says that underemployed computer whizzes in his home country amuse themselves by hacking.  But where could you get to from my blog?  I don't even bank online.

Are you Jews?  Or Jew followers?  In my fantasy, you're relatives; my father's mother was born in Kiev, I'm told, and grew up in a little town outside the city called Kopaigorod. His father was from nearby Shargorod.  My other grandparents, similarly typically, came from Poland. But if you were undiscovered relatives you'd have to do some searching to find me, even online, since neither maiden name (fairly common) nor married name (much less so) appear on the site.

On the other hand, if you go to Soundcloud, as I sometimes do to hear clips of my radio-storyteller daughter, I find lots of Pavels and Borises and the like with my husband's Russian-sounding last name. So he (and my daughters) might have distant cousins in Russia whose grandparents made it home from wherever they survived the Holocaust, didn't know the American branch well enough to tell us, and gave rise to musicians two generations later who post on Soundcloud. And maybe you guys just googled yourselves one day and then scrolled all the way down to the fourth page of search results, and there I was. Google knows where to find me, somehow, even though I haven't linked the blog to my Google account.

You could be interested in Yiddish; People bump into this blog from searching on "forschpeis," a Yiddish word (appetizer) that I used many blogs ago.  Obviously this is not a hot SEO keyword. In fact, it's just about the only keyword that ever shows up among reported search terms that lead to my site.  Obviously someone's bidding on all the other words...

You obviously read English.  Even if you don't write English too well, or at all, write and tell me if you're real. And what brings you here?

Body in the Basement

Down in my basement is a limbless, headless tan body shape;  a paper-tape paper-mache of my torso.  It's my own personal dress form, made, per Barbara Deckert's instructions in a Craftsy sewing video, by my sister.  It should be a much more accurate likeness than the dial-a-butt/bust, felt-covered forms they sell in fabric/craft stores.

Wear comfortable shoes and stand on a cushy mat

It takes a good friend or a close relative to make this for you, as it involves dunking and pressing long and short strips of pre-pasted brown tape all over your body.  Three times over, for three layers, over a t-shirt.  You have to be able to stand still for well over an hour as it dries, although you may -- and you will -- laugh. You can also move your arms during this process a little, as we're not trying for sleeves.  You can help pat down your own boobs and belly, reaching left with the right and vice versa. Trying for your sides is going to raise your shoulder; we don't want that. We want the relaxed, straight-standing  clone of you that you need for fitting clothes you sew for yourself.

You have to sacrifice the t-shirt, because after it dries (do this on a low-humidity day and pool your blow driers) your mummifier has to carefully cut you out of this hardened shell, up the back.  She should lay her hand between the blade and your back wherever possible, and try to angle the scissor blade away from your spine if she can't.  My sister wound up cutting a hole in my exercise shorts (they were old) and underpants (they were newish), but not my skin.  

You should hear a nice crisp cracking going on behind you, like the sound of walnut shells, when your form maker cuts through shaped and hardened tape and t-shirt.  Then you carefully back yourself out of the body cast, put on another shirt (and shorts, if necessary), line your cut ends together (get help with this, too), and tape it back closed. Insert a padded hanger through the bottom and hang in a sunny bay window, to let finish drying.  It makes a great murder mystery prop when seen from the outside.

My sister did a good job.  When my form was done I was fairly dismayed to see how much space I take up, particularly from the waist down.  Looking inside the hollow bottom, I could see that my internal organs had much more room than they needed.  If we kept it in the kitchen I'm sure it would keep my nibbling in line much more effectively than a photo on the fridge.  It would be... not quite the elephant.. but undeniably surplus me..... in the room. 

I love this wrap dress.  I made one
for the first-born in Indy, too... w/ the
wider seam binding the pattern
actually calls for

I mailed it to the second-born
at work... she had to put it on
and show me right away,
hence the wrinkled hem.

It took me over a month to get this pasted tape from an art supply store. (The stuff at Staples has nylon threads in it, which makes it no good.)  During that time I tried, vainly, to shed a few pounds. Then  I kept the tape in the shipping carton for a few more months, sewed for my kids and made the same safe wrap-around dress for myself -- till I finally gave up and went over to my sister's with tape, dunking tray, t-shirt and extra poundage

So this dress form better help me sew for myself; it may make an improvement simply by not sucking in its gut every time it tries on a waistband.  We've taken it down from the gallows, stuffed it with newspaper and impaled it on the only thing we could find that's on a stand and fits -- one of those skinny ionizer oscillating fans.  Now we can dress it up, stand it in the window and make it turn back and forth -- just in time for Halloween.  And if being able to hug myself truly does inspire me to lose pounds and inches,  I will be delighted to hold still for another taping.

I'll get another fan and keep both sizes in the basement.

McCalls 6959